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Goodlife Fitness Water Bottle

Not Safe to Drink from GoodLife Fitness Water Bottle

Dear GoodLife, I recently acquired one of your red GoodLife Fitness water bottles. I was eager to quench my thirst at my next workout when I discovered to my dismay it was impossible to use this bottle securely. I've attached pictures demonstrating the problem... Here is a picture of the instructions that came with the water bottle: Step 3 clearly states: "Always … [Read More...]

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Warning: Nuts Chipmunk!

Warning: This Website May Have Come Into Contact with Nuts

Dear minions, This website may have come into contact with nuts. If for some reason while reading one of my articles you find yourself suddenly offended or … [Read More...]

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Barrel containing many monkeys... I don't want this one

Top 5 things I would do with a big barrel and no monkeys

Dear minions I'd really like to get a big barrel. ... not like a barrel of monkeys, just a big barrel. I think there's a lot of interesting things to do with … [Read More...]

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HostGator, the Smooth Criminal

HostGator Coupon Code for Super Villains and Overlords

Dear minions, As you know, I'm the most notorious super villain of the internet. ... I'm also a self-proclaimed evil overlord. The point is, I've found a way to make less than one-hundred billion dollars in thirty days or more by operating an evil website about world … [Read More...]

Treasure Map

How to make a Treasure Map like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions, If you wish to rule an empire as an evil overlord, it's important you send your rivals on the occasional wild goose chase. Allowing your enemies to "stumble upon" a well crafted treasure map is an ideal way to waste their time and resources. Materials … [Read More...]

Don't cry, we'll get cheezburger someday...

Are you Sad Nobody Noticed you Exist?

Dear minions, Have you been building this incredible website, but nobody seems to care? Have you been following all the expert tips and advice, but still, nobody visits your site? Are you sad nobody noticed you exist? Do you wake up in the middle of the night crying … [Read More...]

dorky-fans

21 Witty Insults to Rule an Empire like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions, In order to rule an empire, you need a bunch of sarcastic catchphrases. In fact, if you read the Evil Overlord job description, you'll notice the Big Boss must always be the most witty member of any evil-cast of villains. Ruling an empire isn't about big … [Read More...]

Just some raccoons having sex

Just some raccoons on the roof having sex…

Dear minions, Never have intercourse outside an evil overlords window if you know what's good for you... http://youtu.be/FuuUR515xDM But what if my girlfriend really likes rooftops? Hey man, if you're into banging on rooftops, by all means, bang away... ... just do … [Read More...]

BAM

How to Stand Out from the Crowd

Dear minions, If you want to conquer the world, you need to be innovative, creative and unique. ... you need to stand out from the crowd. Nobody cares if you're the seventh person to step onto the moon - Sorry David Scott, but folks only remember Neil Armstrong! Be … [Read More...]

To conquer the world... Just go nuts!

Want to Conquer the World? Become an Authority!

Dear minions, Questioning my sanity is the only thing keeping me insane! ... insanity is very important for the business of world domination. The world is full of people trying very hard to be sane. It’s ridiculous! If you want to set yourself apart from the herd, … [Read More...]