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Best smelling Google Nexus 5 screen protector

Best Smelling Google Nexus 5 Screen Protector

Dear minions, Listen, I've smelled a lot of screen protectors in my day, but the Spigen Google Nexus 5 Crystal Clear Screen Protector is by far the best smelling screen protector of all! Not only does the Spigen Google Nexus 5 Screen Protector smell great, but it also includes a lifetime warranty, meaning it's guaranteed to never lose it's wonderful aroma until after … [Read More...]

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Zombie Haiku

Mind Bogglingly Evil Haiku for Haiku Day

Minions, how are you? Evil haiku day today. Let's begin, ok!! Obliteration. The end of the world is near. mwahahahaha. No place to run to. Maybe hide … [Read More...]

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Iceberg, Soon...

How to Occupy Canada like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions, Canada is under attack! If you want to be a Canadian overlord why not take advantage of the situation... Keep reading to find out more. … [Read More...]

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Mountain Spray Painted Green

Even Evil Overlords Want to Protect the Environment

You know what really makes me want to stick my head into a bucket of water and just be done with it? Spray painting mountains green in order to answer calls for more attention to environmental protection. Wait, an actual mountain was spray painted green?!? Yup. It's … [Read More...]

Happy Cows from California

Why the Ban on Feeding Cows Cannabis is Cruel

Dear minions, You know what really makes me want to build a giant space laser? Switzerland's Agriculture Ministry. Not because I'm a carnivore and think eating helpless vegetables is cruel or because I think they should stick to making chocolate. Nope, that's all fine and … [Read More...]

A classic derp

Listen, the use of derp, it has to stop now…

Dear minions, If you're using the word derp you must cease and desist immediately. It has to stop now. Seriously, you're confusing a lot of people. Derp, derp, derp. Derp is a crappy word. People who don't know the meaning of derp assume you're a Satan … [Read More...]

Lionfish will help kill you so coral can eat you

How to Die a Horrible Death from Coral

Dear minions, You probably don't want to believe coral can actively pursue a moving fish BUT LOOK AT THE HORRIFYING PICTURE. At night, coral can actively pursue just about anything. Sometimes you can even hear coral slowly scratching against the floor under your bed when … [Read More...]

Cat in a box

6 Tips to Stay Ahead of the Competition like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions, Building an empire is no easy task for an evil overlord. ... the bigger you get, the more trolls start driving you crazy. ... the bigger you get, the more mistakes you make. ... the bigger you get, the more competitors you need to fend off. How do you … [Read More...]

Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

How to Save Money on Books – Buy the Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!

Dear minions, I love reading. I think books are actually one of the best thought-out uses for stacked together pieces of paper. ... but the thing is, if you read all the time you'll notice buying tons of books costs a fortune! DON'T PANIC. If you're a book addict, I … [Read More...]

Confused Grasshopper

How to Master the Art of Confusion like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions, To have a successful career as an evil overlord you need a few essential skills. One such skill is the art of confusion... Now pay close attention. Being literally confused is of no benefit to an evil overlord. An evil overlord must be able to unravel the most … [Read More...]