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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss - Douglas Adamas

The Ever Growing List of Sarcastic, Ironic and Witty Quotes

Dear minions, As an evil overlord, it's important to have a set of quotes handy at all times in order to out-duel an adversary in a verbal showdown of wits. Bookmark this page, more quotes are added nefariously! … [Read More...]

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A classic derp

Listen, the use of derp, it has to stop now…

Dear minions, If you're using the word derp you must cease and desist immediately. It has to stop now. Seriously, you're confusing a lot of people. Derp, … [Read More...]

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Very happy cat ate some pills

How to Make Lolcats – Step by Step Guide

Dear minions, Today, I'm going to teach you how to make lolcats. In order to conquer the world, you need the ability to communicate with the primitive … [Read More...]

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Treasure Map

How to make a Treasure Map like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions, If you wish to rule an empire as an evil overlord, it's important you send your rivals on the occasional wild goose chase. Allowing your enemies to "stumble upon" a well crafted treasure map is an ideal way to waste their time and resources. Materials … [Read More...]

Don't cry, we'll get cheezburger someday...

Are you Sad Nobody Noticed you Exist?

Dear minions, Have you been building this incredible website, but nobody seems to care? Have you been following all the expert tips and advice, but still, nobody visits your site? Are you sad nobody noticed you exist? Do you wake up in the middle of the night crying … [Read More...]

Talking Beer Glass

How Men Without Underwear Cause Soaring Beer Prices

Dear minions, You know what really makes me want to throw-back a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? Drunk Scottish men lifting their kilts to strangers in Poland. Not because they horrify Polish residents who feel such behaviour is inappropriate or because they risk getting … [Read More...]

Cat in a box

6 Tips to Stay Ahead of the Competition like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions, Building an empire is not easy. The bigger you get, the more trolls and competition you must defeat to keep moving forward. How do you stay ahead of the competition? How do you stand tall in the face of defeat? Let me tell you... … [Read More...]

A cooked chicken

How to Tie Up a Chicken

Dear minions, Today I was entrusted with the task of tying up a chicken. Simple as that may sound, a chicken is indeed a formidable foe that should not be underestimated. The first thing to do when asked to tie up a chicken is desperately seek out advice from people who tie … [Read More...]