If you want to conquer the world, it helps to make shitloads of money online so you can pay for things like sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their frickin’ heads.
The problem is, I bet you’ve already tried making money online…
I bet you’ve failed miserably…
I bet you’ve convinced yourself there must be some logical explanation for your failure other than complete incompetency…
The thing is…
Don’t worry, I can help.
You’re letting chihuahuas hold you back.
Don’t panic, it happens to everybody.
Chihuahua’s are a serious problem when it comes to making money online because they’re cute, and tiny, and you can’t stop looking at them no matter how ridiculous their hairdos.
… Doing work is hard.
… Getting distracted is easy.
I used to spend all day looking at chihuahuas.
Chihuahua’s with dreadlocks. Chihuahua’s with comb-overs. Chihuahua’s with afros and little hairpicks stuck in there to make some sort of fashion statement nobody will ever understand.
I was poised to conquer the world, but instead I found myself distracted and drawn into life as a doggie hair stylist, spending my time collecting photographs of well coiffed chihuahuas. I spiraled deep into this dark and lonely place. I barely made it out. To this day, I can only look at chihuahuas in hoodies for fear of falling back into old habits.
Don’t make the same mistake.
Chihuahua’s are holding you back and you need to stop them before it’s too late.
Are you sure chihuahuas are the problem?
Making money online is easy. Just start a website, slap on some ads, and attract several million visitors.
If you join the World Domination Newsletter, I’ll send you my greatest secrets.
… I’ll teach you to conquer YOUR world.
… I’ll help you defeat YOUR chihuahua.
If I can make money blogging about the obliteration of the universe, I’m pretty sure you can make money writing about absolutely anything.
You can do it too.
But I don’t even own a chihuahua…
… For some people, it’s Facebook.
…. For most people it’s porn.
… Personally, I’m distracted by barrels with no monkeys inside.
The shape of your chihuahua doesn’t matter, it’s a distraction that’s holding you back.
STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR CHIHUAHUA!
DON’T TOUCH YOUR CHIHUAHUA!
If I can make money online after sentences like that, you know there’s still hope for you…
What if I can’t stop playing with my chihuahua?
… Honestly, I encourage you to really go at it.
Embrace all the joys, take in all the pleasures, and have all the fun you can get out of playing with your chihuahua.
But, if you want to make money online, you need to separate play-time and work-time.
When you do decide to start working, keep the chihuahua out of the room. Don’t touch it. Don’t even think about it.
… No distractions.
… Work during work time, play during chihuahua time.
Chihuahua time will be extra fun, and work time will be more productive than ever because even just a little bit of work is more work than most people ever do.
It’s that simple, but…
… incredibly difficult for most people.
HOLY SHIT SNAP OUT IF IT.
Do you want to be broke and completely useless forever?
Just punch yourself in the face and be done with it.
If you focus 100% of your attention on one task for 30 minutes you’ll be amazed how much you can accomplish.
The only thing standing between YOU and YOUR DREAMS is YOU. I know this sounds stupid because that means there are two of you and one is being an asshole, but trust me, that’s just the way it is.
So if I control the urges to play with my chihuahua, I’ll make money online?
… If that work is a load of crap, you’re still NOT going to make any money.
But, if you happen to be working on a USEFUL PRODUCT instead of playing with your chihuahua, YES, you will start making money online.
It’s not magic.
It’s people without frickin’ common sense attached to their frickin’ heads.
How do I develop a USEFUL PRODUCT?
The best thing you can do is subscribe to the World Domination Newsletter for more tips and advice.
… I’ll teach you how to stand out from the crowd.
… I’ll teach you how to make sure people notice you exist.
… I’ll teach you how to use that lump of meat inside your head.
I’ll teach you how to make less than one-hundred billion dollars in thirty days or more, guaranteed!
If you’re ready to get started, join the World Domination Newsletter!