I’ll just leave my cow here…

Dear minions,

An evil overlord must always endeavor to just leave a cow anywhere. Imagine the talk at the water cooler…

Cow parked in bike rack

olivermihoff – Perhaps its a police steak out to prevent bike theft…

Chrisattsu – I herd that too..

Donkenoji – This is ledge-end-dairy.

Methadose – At first I thought your pun was childish but then I realized it was bovine.

eviljolly – Please, don’t udder another word.

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Higgs Boson Found in Woman’s Bosom

Cat stops you bosom looking

Dear minions,

You’ll be happy to hear the search for the elusive Higgs boson (i.e. God particle) continues at the 27-kilometer long underground Large Hadron Collider (LHC) near Geneva. This means you still have a chance to conquer the higgs field and control all the mass of the universe.

Or do you…?

Recent reports suggest the higgs boson has already been found in a woman’s bosom. Details below.

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How to Sell Pizza on the Moon like an Evil Overlord

Dear minions,

Dominos Pizza on the Moon Project

If you hope to achieve world domination, you need a sound business strategy… World domination is a never-ending game of chess. If your plan has a flaw, you’re going to lose.

Dominos, which plans to sell pizza on the moon, will never enslave humanity to an eternal diet of pizza.

The plan for a Dominos pizza moon base is flawed…

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How to make a Treasure Map like an Evil Overlord

Map in Pirates of the Caribbean

A well concocted treasure map...

Dear minions,

If you wish to rule an empire as an evil overlord, it’s important you send your rivals on the occasional wild goose chase. Allowing your enemies to “stumble upon” a well crafted treasure map is an ideal way to waste their time and resources.

Materials Needed:

  • paper
  • pen
  • used tea bag (I’ve had success with earl grey. I do not recommend green tea or red berry…
  • paper towel
  • cooking oil

Once you’re ready, use the following 5 simple steps to creating a well concocted treasure map…

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