Dear minions,
Canada is under attack!
If you want to be a Canadian overlord why not take advantage of the situation… Keep reading to find out more.
How to Occupy Canada like an Evil Overlord
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Category Archives: Guide to World Domination
How to Sell Pizza on the Moon like an Evil Overlord
Dear minions,
If you hope to achieve world domination, you need a sound business strategy… World domination is a never-ending game of chess. If your plan has a flaw, you’re going to lose.
Dominos, which plans to sell pizza on the moon, will never enslave humanity to an eternal diet of pizza.
The plan for a Dominos pizza moon base is flawed…
How to make a Treasure Map like an Evil Overlord
A well concocted treasure map...
Dear minions,
If you wish to rule an empire as an evil overlord, it’s important you send your rivals on the occasional wild goose chase. Allowing your enemies to “stumble upon” a well crafted treasure map is an ideal way to waste their time and resources.
Materials Needed:
- paper
- pen
- used tea bag (I’ve had success with earl grey. I do not recommend green tea or red berry…
- paper towel
- cooking oil
Once you’re ready, use the following 5 simple steps to creating a well concocted treasure map…
6 Tips to Stay Ahead of the Competition like an Evil Overlord
Dear minions,
Building an empire is not easy. The bigger you get, the more trolls and competition you must defeat to keep moving forward.
How do you stay ahead of the competition? How do you stand tall in the face of defeat?
Let me tell you…
How to Handle an Encounter with a Giant Squid
Calamari anyone?
You know what really makes me want to plunge? Giant Squid. Not because they have the biggest eyes in the animal kingdom or because their wieners (slang for penis) are 3 feet long. Nope, all of that stuff is just fine and dandy.
The problem is that giant squid make the worst possible usage of their suction cups. These guys could climb a building, play outfield for the Yankees, or even hold-up that soap tray in the shower that keeps falling. Instead, they float around their entire life, never to be employed as a plumber. With eight tentacles and hundreds of suctions cups, they could easily unclog thousands of toilets daily and contribute to the economy. You would think evolution would lead them down this path – you know survival of the fittest – because who’s going to eat a squid after it spends the day in clogged toilets. Of course, I guess that point is moot since we do presently dump sewage into the oceans and enjoy our calamari anyways…