It has come to my attention that you’re all too incompetent to come up with your own scheme to make thousands of dollars on Fiverr…
In anticipation of your ineptitude, I’ve prepared a fail-proof template for you.
I’m sure you’ll still find some way to screw up this brilliant plan, but for those of you with half-a-brain, keep reading to find out how to make $1000 doing absolutely nothing on Fiverr.
Wait, what’s Fiverr?
Fiverr is an online tool designed to separate people from their money $5 at-a-time.
If you use Fiverr properly, you can take advantage of this design to funnel some of these $5 transactions into your bank account.
All you have to do is create a Gig!
A Gig is a product or service you sell for $5. The secret to making a fortune on Fiverr is minimizing the amount of work you perform in order to make a $5 sale.
The absolute minimum work a person can do is no work whatsoever. If you can minimize your Gig to the point of nothingness, you’ll collect $5 by doing absolutely nothing.
If you want to achieve world domination, this is a brilliant way to get started!
Step 1 – Fiverr Project title!
Your Fiverr gig needs a title. If you’re too lazy to come up with your own, try this:
I will do absolutely nothing for you for only $5
Step 2 – Fiverr Project description!
This is the tricky part… You need to convince someone to pay you to do absolutely nothing. That’s only going to happen if you can sell the benefits. People will buy anything if there are good benefits… Since you probably can’t think of anything, here is something you can try:
I will do absolutely nothing for you for only 5$
For a limited time only, take part in this once in a lifetime opportunity to order the most useless and extremely bizarre fiverr of all-time!
For $5, I will do absolutely nothing.
Think about this for a moment, it’s really quite brilliant.
I will do absolutely nothing for you, and it will only cost $5.
Why pay money for absolutely nothing?
– Instant delivery!
– You know exactly what you’re going to get!
– No strings attached, you really get nothing.
– You’ll be a part of history!
– You can start conversations about that time you purchased the most extremely bizarre fiverr of ALL-TIME!
– You’ll make me rich and famous. Then you can tell people you know someone rich and famous!
Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. Fiverr’s like this don’t come around every day…
For only 5$, you can be part of the experience. Tell your friends so you can share this special moment!
Don’t wait, order nothing now before there’s none left!
What if this brilliant scheme doesn’t work?
An overlord always has a backup plan.
When things are looking glum and hopeless because you managed to screw up the most brilliant and fail-proof scheme of all-time, resort to plan B…
Capture a depressed robot that’s Not Really Marvin the manically depressed robot from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, lock him in your basement, and charge people $5 to ask him anything.