Do you want to build an empire, rule the world and proclaim yourself supreme leader of the human race? All of these are respectable goals which can be achieved by following a few basic steps…
First of all, you need to go ahead and subscribe to the World Domination Newsletter. Don’t worry, I’m very wise, you won’t regret this.
Second of all, if you’re serious about learning more, keep reading this article!
Please all mighty overlord, tell me more…!
For now, lets keep things simple. Step 1: Finances.
You can’t build an empire unless you can finance your evil operations. That’s why blogging is an essential part of being an evil overlord. Blogging provides an unlimited stream of income that will be the foundation of your evil career.
… and blogging is easy for an evil overlord…
All you have to do is blog about your plans for world domination. Evil villains always reveal their secret plans because they’re smarter than that guy trying to be the hero who otherwise would never figure the shit out. Its your job to tell the heroes all about your plans so they can swoop in and save they day.
Conquering the world is an iterative process. You never conquer the world all at once with one grandiose plan. You conquer a little bit more with each new devious scheme and then you let the heroes swoop in and tell the world not to worry everything is under control.
Anyways… since these heroes will be reading your blog looking for ways to foil your brilliant endeavors, you’ll make a fortune from their visits via advertising and affiliate revenue. Those fools will actually finance your empire.
How do I start a blog?
First things first – you need to setup a blog by visiting Host Gator. Yes, that’s an affiliate link, and yes you will click it anyways because Host Gator is the perfect hosting platform for aspiring evil overlords.
If you want proper villain street cred, you’ll let the gators host your online empire so you can operate your blog from a virtual moat.
… Remember, it’s not going to be all peaches, some assembly will be required. What did you expect, to be handed an evil empire? Don’t be lazy, that’s why I’m evil overlord, not you.
How do I turn this blog into a love machine… I mean money maker?
Your blog is a beautiful piranha fish waiting to grow into a flesh eating monster. Sure it starts off tiny, unnoticed, and insignificant, but give it time…
… Yes, time is the main ingredient you’ll need to invest in your blog.
By constantly investing time, you can turn a tiny little website into a huge empire! Blog often, do it on a consistent schedule and comment on other blogs so somebody notices you exist.
Do not set out to build a wall. Every day, set out to lay one brick as perfectly as a brick can be layed.
Why Comment on Other Blogs?!
How do you think you ended up here, by magic? I don’t think so…
Contrary to popular belief, most overlords do not command an evil sorcerer. If evil sorcerers were real, don’t you think they would be the evil overlords?
Comments on other blogs are tiny gateways to your empire. The more gateways you create, the more minions you can funnel into your blog and enslave. The more minions you enslave, the more money you make.
Sounds easy, what’s the catch?
The catch is you. You’re a lazy oaf, a couch potato without the necessary motivation to turn your blog into a stream of income.
But don’t worry, that’s what I’m here for.
Subscribe to the World Domination Newsletter because you need my help. Every successful blogger out there has an evil overlord coaching them, whether they admit it or not. You know those voices in your head? Who do you think put them there?
That’s right, master is here.
So, how do I actually make money from my blog?
Patience minion. I can teach you the ways, but I fear sharing this final secret to fortune will overload your tiny feeble little brain.
If you want to learn how to make money from your blog, Subscribe to the World Domination Newsletter and I’ll tell you. Maybe in a day, maybe in a week. I will tell you. The suspense is thrilling, it’s part of the overlord persona.
For now, focus on the task at hand. Visit Host Gator and setup your website. If you don’t have a proper online empire, you might as well give up now.
Will you really teach me how to make money online, or are you only using me for your own personal gain?
Of course I’m using you for my own personal gain…
I’m exploiting your desire to become rich and powerful in order to increase my own personal wealth.
That’s exactly the sort of brilliance I will teach you if you subscribe to the World Domination Newsletter.
Can’t Wait? Need to know how to make millions blogging RIGHT NOW!?
Do you want to know how to start a blog that people will actually read? Do you need to know how to create a website? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could learn how to write about a topic you love, develop a loyal readership and make millions of dollars doing it?
WELL HOLY SMOKES, YOU CAN!
In fact, there’s a book designed to meet all of your needs… It’s called How to Start a Blog that People Will Read: How to create a website, write about a topic you love, develop a loyal readership, and make six figures doing it.
Don’t trust me, read the incredible reviews this book is getting on Amazon. It’s the Ultimate Blogging for Dummies Guidebook for Dummies!
If you’ve ever been interested in becoming a multi-millionaire, this book is for you.