Welcome to the semi-seasonal Ultimate Grand Prize Contest at deceth.com!!!
Enter now for your chance to win a percentage of $1,000,000!
DON’T YOU WANT $1 MILLION BUCKS?!
All you need to do is post a comment anywhere on my supervillain blog.
It’s that easy!
Want to double your odds?
Post two comments!
Want to triple your odds?
Go nuts and post three comments!
In fact, why not start a conversation with all the other wacky minions lurking in the shadows?
You can go nuts together…
… be nuts together.
All while gaining tons of entries into the Ultimate Grand Prize Contest!
Every comment is another automatic entry for the jackpot.
Holy Smokes, This Ultimate Grand Prize Contest is Outrageous!
… then you’ll be outraged!
I’ve crafted this devious contest to lure new suckers into the unrelenting grasp of my supervillain blog.
The unlucky winner will win the grand prize…
0% of $1,000,000!!!
You get nothing.
… … Nadda.
… … … Not even bragging rights.
Of course, you can try to brag…
But I’m instructing all the lucky contest losers to ridicule YOU.
WHAT?! YOU ASS WHY WOULD I WANT TO WIN NOTHING?!
Hey man, don’t quit now. You’ve made it this far…
I’ve already tricked you into reading this blog post, you might as well play things out and try your odds at winning.
What do you have to lose?
You could be the next Ultimate Grand Prize Winner!!!
Public Humiliation is only the Beginning!
With a contest this bad you just know it’s the one contest you’re finally going to win.
The grand announcement will come and your name will pop from the hat…
“Congratulations!” they’ll say. “You’ve just won the right to public humiliation and ridicule”.
But that’s only the beginning!
… I’m going to make things even worse than they already sound.
… You can’t even lose a simple contest properly.
It’s ok, I can help.
I’m the worlds most notorious supervillain.
I can show you the path to greatness.
All you need to do is let me help you hit ROCK BOTTOM.
You barely need a nudge…
…Looks like you’re almost there already.
It’s time to fall apart.
What?! Rock Bottom? Have you gone completely mad?!
You want to hit ROCK BOTTOM and just be done with it.
Nothing in life will ever feel depressing again once you’ve hit rock bottom.
If you want to reach the top, you need to start at the bottom.
… There are no shortcuts.
… The harder you fall, the higher you rise!
If you want more than 0%…
If you want more than nothing…
If you want to conquer the world…
All you need to do is post a comment before it’s too late; hurry the next semi-season is already a half-season away!