Dear minions,
An evil overlord must always endeavor to just leave a cow anywhere. Imagine the talk at the water cooler…
olivermihoff – Perhaps its a police steak out to prevent bike theft…
Chrisattsu – I herd that too..
Donkenoji – This is ledge-end-dairy.
Methadose – At first I thought your pun was childish but then I realized it was bovine.
eviljolly – Please, don’t udder another word.
Uncoolio – He’s going to milk it as long as he can.
verybadsheep – He’d butter not!
Crisender111 – Moo aside. Let me go first.
fortyfour44 – Somebody’s got a real beef with that bike rack.
DifficultyWithPuns – Holy Cow!
rrs118 – That’s not a cow it’s a calf. A bovine is not considered a cow unless it is a female and able to reproduce.
An evil overlord should always employ a confused cow.
A confused cow is not only a confused cow, but also a cow capable of instantiating confusion. If you’re a hero invading my secret lair and you experience a chance encounter with a cow at a urinal in the washroom, well that sort of thing is bound to throw you off your game…
A confused cow is an investment that will buy you time.
Did you only have 13 seconds left to diffuse my giant space laser? A chance encounter with a cow in the most unexpected of places can buy an evil overlord all the extra time they need to blow stuff up. The hero always hits the abort button with 3 seconds or less left on the countdown… If you’re serious about being an evil overlord, you’ll buy a cow. A cow can make all the difference. Even Batman would pause to look at a cow.
Is it a trap, or is it just a cow? This is no place for cattle…?! Why is there a cow in this ventilation duct?! How did this cow climb that tree?! ZAAAaaaaaaPPP giant space laser you lose Mr. Bond kthx.
Where should an evil overlord put a cow?
Put a cow anywhere.
In an elevator, in a hat.
You can even put a cow on a doormat.
You can put a cow here, you can put a cow there.
You can put a cow anywhere.
Evil overlords know a cow is key to building a successful empire.
Deceth
Deceth is an up-and-coming supervillain. Join the World Domination Newsletter to learn how to conquer the world and make less than one-hundred billion dollars in 30 days or more guaranteed!
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