Dear minions,
To have a successful career as an evil overlord you need a few essential skills. One such skill is the art of confusion…
Now pay close attention. Being literally confused is of no benefit to an evil overlord. An evil overlord must be able to unravel the most un-unravelable of mysteries. Don’t confuse the art of confusion with the state of confusion. Be the confuser, not the confused.
Keep reading to find out more young grasshopper…
How do I paint a scene of confusion?
An evil overlord is an artist. Artists knows exactly what they’re doing, they’re in complete control of a situation. Your goal is to leave the audience in a state of confusion. Your enemies. Your competition. They must never know what’s up your sleeve.
An evil overlord is unpredictable while orchestrating order in the chaos.
Does a grasshopper not hop?
Why confuse people? Shouldn’t I just build a giant space laser?
Contrary to popular belief, launching a giant laser is actually tricky business… What if your plans are foiled before you slice off a piece of the moon? Chances are someone will notice when you start buying satellite components, elastic bands and a large quantity of laser pointers…
But what if you actually purchased a perfectly modest supply of potatoes? What would your enemies think then? Are you trying to raise a genetically modified starch based zombie from the ground?!
An evil overlord wants confused grasshoppers to hop to rash decisions. You want your enemies worrying about potatoes, meanwhile…
Is there a reason you keep using grasshopper references?
Confused grasshopper
just doesn’t know anymore.
He just doesn’t know.
So… you’re supposed to be talking about World Domination…
Grasshopper, you must learn to confuse your confusion. Plant the smallest seed of an idea and watch it grow.
Maybe if you did a TL;DR…
TL;DR – A confused grasshopper can hurt itself in its confusion. An evil overlord must endeavor to cause confusion to achieve victory.
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