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Continue reading →: Warning: This Website May Have Come Into Contact with NutsDear minions, This website may have come into contact with nuts. If for some reason while reading one of my articles you find yourself suddenly offended or outraged, do NOT waste time sending me an angry email letter… … you may actually be experiencing an anaphylactic reaction to nuts! Just…
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Continue reading →: Just some raccoons on the roof having sex…
Dear minions, Never have intercourse outside an evil overlords window if you know what’s good for you… But what if my girlfriend really likes rooftops? Hey man, if you’re into banging on rooftops, by all means, bang away… … just do it on your own damn roof!!! Nobody wants to…
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Continue reading →: Glitch in the Matrix – How to Survive a War with Computer BugsDear minions, Computer bugs are some of the most evil villains you’ll ever encounter because… … computer bugs don’t have to hate you, or think you’re stupid, or anything like that in order to decide to pick on you. They’ll just go ahead one morning and delete everything you’ve ever…
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Continue reading →: Who Keeps Planting Potatoes on my Lawn?!Dear minions, When someone plants potatoes on my lawn I get upset. It’s not that I dislike potatoes – in fact I find them quite tasty and aesthetically pleasing… The problem is WTF?! Don’t mess with an evil overlords lawn if you know what’s good for you. When it comes…
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Continue reading →: How Men Without Underwear Cause Soaring Beer Prices
Dear minions, You know what really makes me want to throw-back a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? … drunk Scottish men lifting their kilts to strangers in Poland. Not because they horrify Polish residents who feel such behaviour is inappropriate… Not because they risk getting frostbite on their genitals when they…
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Continue reading →: I’ve been working on my stand-up comedy routine…Dear minions, I’ve been working on my stand-up comedy routine… … don’t laugh, I’m serious! I think supervillains need to be funny. Knowing a few good jokes is the best way to cut the tension during suspenseful life or death situations. Here’s what I’ve got so far… A frog walks…
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Continue reading →: How to Conquer the World with Aww Pics
Dear minions, The recipe for a successful career as an evil overlord is really quite simple. In fact, the knowledge in this post is so powerful and revolutionary, I can’t believe I even dare to share it… … Simply aww the audience, then profit as a consequence! Keep reading to…
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Continue reading →: How to Occupy Canada like an Evil Overlord
Dear minions, Canada is under attack! If you want to be a Canadian overlord why not take advantage of the situation… Keep reading to find out more.
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Continue reading →: Why the Ban on Feeding Cows Cannabis is Cruel
Dear minions, You know what really makes me want to build a giant space laser? Switzerland’s Agriculture Ministry. Not because I’m a carnivore and think eating helpless vegetables is cruel or because I think they should stick to making chocolate. Nope, that’s all fine and dandy! The problem is when…
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Continue reading →: Listen, the use of derp, it has to stop now…
Dear minions, If you’re using the word derp you must cease and desist immediately. It has to stop now. Seriously, you’re confusing a lot of people. Derp, derp, derp. Derp is a crappy word. People who don’t know the meaning of derp assume you’re a Satan worshiper. It’s what people…
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