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Continue reading →: How to Die a Horrible Death from CoralDear minions, You probably don’t want to believe coral can actively pursue a moving fish BUT LOOK AT THE HORRIFYING PICTURE. At night, coral can actively pursue just about anything. Sometimes you can even hear coral slowly scratching against the floor under your bed when it thinks you’re asleep… If…
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Continue reading →: How to Master the Art of Confusion like an Evil Overlord
Dear minions, To have a successful career as an evil overlord you need a few essential skills. One such skill is the art of confusion… Now pay close attention. Being literally confused is of no benefit to an evil overlord. An evil overlord must be able to unravel the most…
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Continue reading →: How to Conquer the World with Translucent Jelly BlobsDear minions, Today I’ve begun assembling an army of translucent jelly blobs. As you can imagine, these are no ordinary jelly blobs, unless of course jelly blobs are ordinarily translucent… What good is an army of translucent jelly blobs?
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Continue reading →: FREE 2014 Calendar of Destruction!
Dear minions, I’ve decided to give away the 2014 Calendar of Destruction absolutely FREE! … but there’s one catch. To get your FREE copy of the Calendar of Destruction, you need to join the World Domination Newsletter! … this isn’t really a catch, this is great news! We’ll get to…
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Continue reading →: Singularity of Robots Kill EverybodyDear minions, If it turns out we’re smart enough to avoid blowing up our planet with nuclear missiles, then we’re even more screwed… … you see the problem with intelligence is you’re never as smart as you think. Anybody smart enough to not nuke themselves, is also smart enough to…
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Continue reading →: The Gingerfolk are Coming… Are you Ready?
Dear minions, I’ve talked a lot about the obliteration of all lifeforms the last few weeks thanks to the release of the Calendar of Destruction. … it’s time to take a break from that. It’s the Holiday Season after-all… Instead, let’s talk about something a little more relaxing… like the…
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Continue reading →: Nuclear Warfare of StupidityDear minions, For the last few weeks I’ve been writing about all the ways we’re probably going to die. Forget about that. … probably is just a bunch of maybe’s, but us humans are way more self-sufficient than that. Listen, we can sit around cursing the Universe over probabilities of…
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Continue reading →: Solar Flares of Technological EradicationDear minions, It’s no secret that a giant X-Class solar flare could send humanity back to the stone ages any day now… However, given that any of the twelve apocalyptic scenarios outlined in the 2014 Calendar of Destruction could destroy us at any moment, how worried should we really be…
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Continue reading →: Orbital Crunch of Obliteration
Dear minions, If you think car accidents suck, it’s even worse when a planet decides to change lanes without checking it’s blind spot. … orbital obliteration is the sort of thing that puts an end to humanity before it has a chance to get out of control. When two planets…
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Continue reading →: Supernova Explosion of Radiation
Dear minions, It’s a 100% guarantee our sun explodes, expands, heats up, or eventually does some sort of inconvenient thing that results in the obliteration of Earth in the process. … Don’t Panic! Our sun isn’t scheduled to misbehave for a long time, like billions of years. Even if the…






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