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Continue reading →: Higgs Boson Found in Woman’s BosomDear minions, You’ll be happy to hear the search for the elusive Higgs boson (i.e. the God particle) continues at the 27-kilometer long underground Large Hadron Collider (LHC) near Geneva. This means you still have a chance to find it first, conquer the higgs field, and control all mass in…
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Continue reading →: Squid lack a true buttocksDear minions, Of all my henchmen, squid are by far the most underperforming. Despite being gifted with many arms and built-in suction cups, all of this potential is wasted. These guys could scale a glass building like a Bond villain, or play outfield for the Yankees. But, nope. Squid just…
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